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A Museing

I’ve recently been sidetracked by many things going on in my life. Actually, maybe my life went exactly where it was supposed to but I wasn’t expecting it? Regardless, the purpose of my blog has sort of blurred from a cry for help to suburbia, to a cry for help in suburbia. Lately I’ve wondered I can get things together again to keep this blog where it needs to be? Where is my muse?  I realized today all I needed to do was look out my front window.

I was sitting on my couch this morning, tackling my mountain of bills, when I heard the most horrible rumbling outside my front window. I looked outside to see what in God’s green earth was going on at an hour where the sun was barely awake yet. There was my neighbor, doing something that has been quietly irking me for the past few months.

On our street, like most places where people throw out garbage, every house has one huge garbage can called a “tote.”  These cans are so big you could easily squash down six big bags of garbage and have plenty of room for a crate of rotten onions and two bike tires (Note: we also recycle here). Each house puts their can out in front of their house early in the morning on garbage day, or late the night before, along with items for recycling, and anything else they want to get rid of labeled with a “free” sign. This is a good way to find ugly sofa art, racks  that are missing crucial bolts and odd toilet parts.

Anyway, my next door neighbors are new to the area – here less than a year. I like to think of them as the “newlyweds” in the grizzled marriage of suburban life. Perhaps they aren’t used to the idea of following societal norms, but for some reason they don’t put their extra-large tote in front of their house. Instead they park it at the end of the strip of property on my side of his driveway. Seems petty, sure. But it is very irritating. This is a problem because our front yard is so tiny that whenever you look out in a front facing window on garbage day all you can see is his extra-large green tote in front of our house. Perhaps I’ve gotten a little territorial, but what the heck? Maybe we should move our can down to the last square inch of our yard next to that strip? It just seems awkward and out-of-place. I feel crowded and suffocated by the mysterious rubbish within. Is it too hideous for him to have in front of his house? Is he embarrassed that he’s overfilled his can….again? Maybe I need to send him a note to address the issue. Or take it up with the Homeowners Association. It’s the little things like that make the subdivision walls close in even more.

There! I did it. And, I’m feeling better. Complaining like this about my street somehow seems to put a smile back on my heart! Wait….I feel more complaints surfacing. The flood gates are opening. But, they’ll have to wait for next time. For now I have to keep a watchful eye on any infringing totes from cul-de-sac greenhorns. Fortunately this is easily done at any time….either by daylight sun, or night time glow from the Walmart parking lot behind our house.


About Fortyteen Candles

oh, let's see...distinguished Gen-X'er, frustrated writer, suffocating in the confines of a small town that thinks it's a big deal. A few years ago we were home to the second largest Walmart in our state, don-cha-know. Oh, and I was voted "Most New Wave" in my senior high school year book. Actually, that last sentence alone is really everything you need to know about me.

19 responses »

  1. The simple solution to your problem is to photograph him in the act. Then, post a follow up blog showing the photo in your post. Next, invite him to read your blog. If that doesn’t do the trick your’re stuck with actually talking to him. 🙂

  2. This makes me feel better about the angry thoughts I have about some of our neighbors… thought of posting about it but so far haven’t had the guts. But I really can see how this could make a person feel a whole lot better. Hmmmm…. admire your nerve and hope to see an eventual follow-up. And maybe I’ll follow your lead.

  3. That cannot stand. Two words come to mind as to why he would feel compelled to place his trash receptacle on your property: body parts. Perhaps you should obsessively reseed your lawn there. Or plant a grove of olive trees. Or install some inconspicuous razor wire.

  4. Teresa Cleveland Wendel

    They’re kind of like my neighbor who parks the unsightly, rusted out school bus that they’ve turned into a “mobile home” in front of our house instead of theirs. It’s been there two years, and I’ve yet to complain.

    • Now that is something to complain about. A rusted out school bus? Do they even let you use it? Sounds like it might be too big to become a community planter. Kind of like those bath tubs, or anything else that is junk that can be filled with flowers and dirt? LOL. Somehow I’m picturing a Partridge Family Paint Job, and a community united.

  5. We used to have a neighbour who would actually put his trash in our bin when his got too full. I still hate that guy. Neighbours. Grrrr.

  6. We’re a little paranoid in our neighborhood and are pretty sure our neighbors are posting pictures of our piece of the world on their blogs. We’re surrounded by lawn treaters and waterers and we have a chemical free lawn. Which translates as the weediest yard on the block. However we do have some lovely garden beds and share our tomatoes, in hopes that the OCD perfect turfers are placated.

    • Wow! Good for you for not poisioning the earth. Our yard is also filled with weeds. I like them, because some of them have flowers. I’m sure your tomatoes are lovely! Very nice of you to share them with your neighbor s:)

  7. We had a beady eyed neighbour at our previous house. He had one of those huge green dumpsters delivered and parked it outside our front window — for 5 weeks! My husband told me not to be petty and wouldn’t let me say anything to the guy. I would lay awake and think about that stupid thing and seethe. After reading your post I realize I should have unleashed the fury! I still hate that guy too!

    • An actual dumpster? What on earth did he need it for? And why was your window the best place for it? I swear some people have no empathy. Careful about unleashing fury, though….especially on someone who has a mysterious dumpster!!

  8. Yikes, dumpster? Any missing neighbors?

    I’d be annoyed by having someone stick something as far off to the end of their property line as possible and impeding my view. Any chance of getting one of those plants like the one in “Little Shop of Horrors”, and training it on the neighbor? 😀

  9. Too funny and annoying and I feel your pain. We got new neighbours who bought a battle-axe block (no road frontage) and then decided to park in front of our house…two homes away and with an unlived in house right beside them and across the road as well. No, it had to be our house, the one house in the street with 5 teenagers and all those extra cars. Did I mention they had a three car gargage unused because they hadn’t gotten around to completing their driveway (in 2YEARS). Yeh I feel your pain! 🙂


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